Disclaimer: I'm currently overmedicated.

So, I'm writing right now, not because I have something to say, rather, to 'mind over matter' (oh yes, that's to be read as a verb) the grandmotherly desire I have to fall asleep right now. I find it difficult to justify going to sleep early after spending all damn day in my bed watching syndicated sitcom reruns on TBS, using the commercial breaks to wonder just how many bags of kettle corn constitutes 'too' many.

In my defense, I'm currently battling a life threatening illness I've affectionately, and perhaps deceivingly, been referring to as an upper respiratory infection. Fancy, right? Lord knows if that's what it is. I have a fever and headache, coming from the UPPER part of my body. I've developed a severe cough, and when I cough, which is often, it's difficult to breathe via my RESPIRATORY system. And I find the word virus to sound much more fleeting than INFECTION so that's what made that decision. Not to brag, but I'm pretty sure this is more serious than that Swine Flu hullabaloo everyone was crying about last month. The point is, I'm ill. I can't very well be gallivanting around the city of Austin, 'living' and 'being productive.' No no, it's much wiser to continue my recovery from a secure location, taking the medicine my physicians: David Spade, Kevin James, Matthew Perry and Ray Romano, recommended. Laughter. Stop groaning, you knew it was coming.

In other news, I found out today that I'm one of those people that laughs along with laugh tracks during sitcoms. Great. This illness has reduced my sense of humor to that of the stereotypical simpleton. I giggle at potty humor like the word 'poopy', slap my knee when someone trips down the stairs and laugh hysterically at just about any witty exchange between characters. I'll say this though, Arthur (Jerry Stiller), from King of Queens, is hands down the funniest character on any poorly scripted sitcom. Ever. Also, I can stop this charade, it's 10:59. A PERFECTLY acceptable sleep time for a working woman such as myself. Thank my later for wasting your time with this entry.