sleepless in seattle

Alright ALRIGHT, I know what you're thinking. No, I'm not in Seattle. Rain on my parade if you must and subsequently ruin my adorable movie reference. The point is, I can't sleep. In true Tom Hanks fashion I sit on my bed, wide awake, listening to an obscure radio host speak the truths of my life and hypnotize me as he/she coddles me with his/her optimism, ultimately resulting in aiding my father's search for true love, ending with a timely reunion atop the Eiffel Tower. It's going to be a busy night.

In other news, no I'm not delusional. I know my life does not mirror the Sleepless in Seattle plot line...yet. I'm just a bit on the thoughtful side, not to say I'm doing nice things for people, more that I'm full of thoughts. Some good, some not so good, some absolutely ridiculous. Here's a sampling. Good thought: This weekend is going to be really great. An assortment of 21st birthday celebrations to attend, lost of boozin' and boatin' AND I'm only working on Sunday. Bad thought: What am I going to do this summer. Yes, I'm taking classes, working, babysitting, interning..but what am I going to DO? Hopefully things. Ridiculous thought: I should get another hamster.

ONE

It was one of those days. A day started with purpose. A morning full of genuine positivity for whatever lies ahead. With the night ending dismally abrupt with said positivity replaced with unpleasant reality crashing (an ironic line, you'll soon understand) all around.

You can see I'm being dramatic. But I have a right you see, for without drama everyday life becomes dull. A mindless exchange of pleasantries laced with practiced motions so familiar you don't even realize their existence. (More drama, needless, but fun.)

I got in a wreck today. My first. I'm fine. The other driver was fine. Everyone's fine. Except my poor, pathetic, nearly geriatric, 10-year-old car. A companion since I was 15 (I shouldn't say loyal, seeing as to how it has often left me stationary in my time of need..), my Jetta has been through it all. Blown out tires, catalytic converter catastrophes, a smashed windshield via pumpkin, rear ending my sister's car, stalling in the middle of roads, and now..it's current injury. Body damage from a car driving at approximately 30 miles an hour and t-boning me in the middle of an intersection. No need for details, it was my fault. Let's just say babies truly will be the death of me.

It just sucks. No one likes getting yelled at and being chastised to tears in the middle of a neighborhood, juxtaposed to a smashed car. (I never said drama was kind..) The point is, yes there is always a point, I find it so interesting that on days I VOW to be positive, days I SWEAR not to be anxious, I am so quickly tested. So suddenly asked to demonstrate my commitment to my arbitrary promise. Needless to say, I failed. I forgot for just a moment (by that I mean until just now..) that my life is charmed. Good thing I am remembering it now. Whew! That was a close one.

It's not that I think anyone truly cares to read the things I have to say, it's that if, on the off chance that there is a person who fits the above description, I can't bare to withhold my brilliance from them. So you're welcome ghost-readers.

In addition, I can't help that it's just what I do. I'm always secretly impressed with people who keep journals and daily diaries with no intention of sharing them. I find when I write things for only myself to read they are painfully cynical and much too self-involved to do any good. But when I write things on obscure Web sites that hold only a small possibility of readership, my ramblings are usually a bit cheerier, and who doesn't need more cheer? Exactly.

I have something to say. It isn't funny or ironic or entertaining in the slightest, so quit yer' readin' now if yer' bored.

What I have to say gives testament to a principle of the world I oft' forget. A simple reminder that I am cursed with the blessing of eternal good fortune. Stop rolling your eyes, trust me, I'm just as big of a believer in the 'jinx' as the next person, but this is bigger than a case of accidental simultaneous speak. It's my fate. In my life, everything just works out. Not immediately, not in the blink of an eye or the twitch of a magical nose (Bewitched reference. you're welcome). It isn't about timeliness or evading suffering. I'm a HUGE believer in the proverbial sentiment, time heals all, and I detest individuals with trial-free, picturesque lifestyles. My point is, the difficulties, the seemingly impossible experiences,the difficult classes and projects, the ridiculous nonsense..always, forgive the repetition, works out.

Case and point: I lost my, very expensive, Jetta car key in January. I was pretty sure I lost it at a bar downtown, but I never had the desire to check, what were the chances it was there? Minuscule. To be blunt, there are episodes of Rock of Love that I have cared more about than this occurrence. I had a spare, (not electronic) and I sucked it up and used this key for the past 4 months. Last night, downtown, I went into the bar, walked up to the bartender told him what my key looked like and in zero time, he handed it to me. Boo ya.