English is my second language. Awkward is my first.

I talk a lot. In doing so I prefer to say things in a round-about manner, I like to meander. Getting to the point without convoluted sentence structure and foregoing needless comma splices is to be expected. Give me a subject and a verb and I'll give you your grandmother's almanac. The following are a list of words and phrases that I have knowingly misused this week, all for the sake of being wordy, and the responses that each have received.

1) Burden of proof

Origin: While I was reading about affirmative action in my government book this week the term 'burden of proof' was used when talking about who's responsibility it was to prove discrimination..blah blah, the point is, 'burden of proof' has a nice ring to it, so I've been trying to find room for it in my daily interactions.

Situation used: In a conversation with my bosses boss at Gregory gym.

Bosses Boss: (Explaining to me why patron's get angry when their ID cards don't work..and how to handle it)"Caroline, nobody likes being told they don't have access to the facility, when in actuality they have paid for it, it's just the computer's error. It puts us in an awkward position and.."
Me: (cutting her off)..Right, right, I completely understand, it's a burden of proof.
Bosses Boss: ..long pause.."Yeah?..but.."..continues on with some convoluted point.

It just slipped out. I found it relevant and insightful. Bosses boss..not so much, she kind of just unabashedly stared at me until I silently recanted by looking down and embarrassed.

2. Learning curve

Origin: Candice was the first person to misuse this phrase while speaking to me on the phone earlier this week. I made a mental note to try my hand at using it as well.

Situation: I was taking a test at the testing center at ACC Rio Grande and waiting on the results of my scantron to be processed.

Test proctor: "Wow, great job and you finished that test fast. I bet all the people in there taking calculus tests hate you."
Me: *Polite laughter.. "Ya..well you know how learning curves are...If I had to take a calculus test I'm sure it would be a negative slope! (insert tone of voice that implies a joke was made, but realizes quickly that said joke is unidentifiable)"
Test proctor: *Hands me my scantron in silence.

Before you X out this page and resort to googling 'jk wedding entrance' for the billionth time, I swear I'm not a complete idiot..all the time. This time, yes.

3. Compartmentalizing

Origin: There is no logical reason I keep saying this word. I just started saying it this week to describe the new theorem I am applying to my daily life, in my own inaccurate way.

Situation: Talking to Candice on the phone about life events

Me: "Listen, all I'm trying to do is compartmentalize. I'm not at fault. Non-compartmentalizers are to blame!"
Candice: "Hahahaha, compartmentalize? Of Course!"
Me: "Okay, I know that doesn't make sense, but thank you for proving your loyalty and not questioning it."

In closing, it takes a while to further your vocabulary and impress others with your graceful speech. I'll learn, until then I'll continue to bear the burden of proof often found within the learning curve for compartmentalization.